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Post by sonofdavid on Feb 10, 2011 8:42:56 GMT -5
It's time for another birthday party.  HAPPY BIRTHDAY ALLYN  - make a wish Allyn. |
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Post by mellontes on Feb 10, 2011 9:56:43 GMT -5
Allyn, you youngins are all alike...  |
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Post by Morris on Feb 10, 2011 10:08:18 GMT -5
Hey, Happy birthday Allyn!
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Post by Allyn on Feb 10, 2011 10:22:47 GMT -5
Its starting out great - thank you for the well wishes
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Post by stephenpatrick on Feb 10, 2011 10:45:50 GMT -5
Happy Birthday again, Allyn.
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Post by Allyn on Feb 10, 2011 11:00:23 GMT -5
Happy Birthday again, Allyn. Thank you (again)  |
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Post by knipwa on Feb 10, 2011 13:01:26 GMT -5
Happy Birthday Allyn  |
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Post by Once4all on Feb 10, 2011 13:38:02 GMT -5
Hope you have a great day, Allyn. Happy birthday!  |
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Post by mellontes on Feb 10, 2011 16:47:27 GMT -5
Allyn, since it is your birthday, I though I would send some old-timer's humour...
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$5.37! That's what the kid behind the counter at Tim Horton's said to me. I dug into my pocket and pulled out some lint and two dimes and something that used to be a Lifesaver. Having already handed the kid a five dollar bill, I started to head back out to the truck to grab some change when the kid with the Elmo hairdo said the worst thing anyone has ever said to me. He said, "It's OK. I'll just give you the senior citizen discount."
I turned to see who he was talking to and then heard the sound of change hitting the counter in front of me. "Only $4.68" he said cheerfully.
I stood there stupified. I am 58, not even 60 yet? A mere child! Senior citizen?
I took my food and walked out to the truck wondering what was wrong with Elmo. Was he blind? As I sat in the truck, my blood began to boil. Old? Me?
I'll show him, I thought. I opened the door and headed back inside. I strode to the counter, and there he was waiting with a smile.
Before I could say a word, he held up something and jingled it in front of me, like I could be that easily distracted! What am I now? A toddler?
"Dude! Can't get too far without your car keys, eh?" I stared with utter disdain at the keys. I began to rationalize in my mind.
"Leaving keys behind hardly makes a man elderly! It could happen to anyone!"
I turned and headed back to the truck. I slipped the key into the ignition, but it wouldn't turn. What now? I checked my keys and tried another. Still nothing.
That's when I noticed the purple beads hanging from my rear view mirror. I had no purple beads hanging from my rear view mirror.
Then, a few other objects came into focus. The car seat in the back seat. Happy Meal toys spread all over the floorboard. A partially eaten doughnut on the dashboard.
Faster than you can say ginkgo biloba, I flew out of the alien vehicle.
Moments later I was speeding out of the parking lot, relieved to finally be leaving this nightmarish stop in my life. That is when I felt it, deep in the bowels of my stomach: hunger! My stomach growled and churned, and I reached to grab my coffee, only it was nowhere to be found.
I swung the truck around, gathered my courage, and strode back into the restaurant one final time. There Elmo stood, draped in youth and black nail polish. All I could think was, "What is the world coming to?"
All I could say was, "Did I leave my food and drink in here"? At this point I was ready to ask a Boy Scout to help me back to my vehicle, and then go straight home and apply for Social Assistance benefits..
Elmo had no clue. I walked back out to the truck, and suddenly a young lad came up and tugged on my jeans to get my attention. He was holding up a drink and a bag. His mother explained, "I think you left this in my truck by mistake."
I took the food and drink from the little boy and sheepishly apologized.
She offered these kind words: "It's OK. My grandfather does stuff like this all the time."
All of this is to explain how I got a ticket doing 85 in a 40. Yes, I was racing some punk kid in a Toyota Prius. And no, I told the officer, I'm not too old to be driving this fast.
As I walked in the front door, my wife met me halfway down the hall. I handed her a bag of cold food and a $300 speeding ticket. I promptly sat in my rocking chair and covered up my legs with a blankey.
The good news was I had successfully found my way home.
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Post by Allyn on Feb 10, 2011 17:09:01 GMT -5
Ha Ha Ha, very funny, Ted. Who you talking about anyway?
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Post by mellontes on Feb 10, 2011 17:11:39 GMT -5
ummmmm...ME...sniff, sniff...  |
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Post by knipwa on Feb 10, 2011 19:23:36 GMT -5
No Way!! Is that true? That is funny. Not the blankey the part though,right?  |
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Post by Allyn on Feb 10, 2011 19:55:19 GMT -5
I know I am getting old when I start using the heating pad controls to try and change the TV channel.
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Post by mellontes on Feb 10, 2011 21:06:24 GMT -5
No Way!! Is that true? That is funny. Not the blankey the part though,right? C'mon, man! I was just kidding. Well, not the blankey part...lol But I do think I have been guilty of all those happenings in separate events within a year. I guess as you get older the time frame between those events begins to shrink too... Alright everyone. Who here has gone into the fridge, taken something out and returned it to the cupboard, or vice versa? Or how many people here went to go do something and while on the way to do that something were reminded of something else to do right after that errand but forgot to do that extra something? C'mon, fess up! |
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Post by Once4all on Feb 10, 2011 21:25:30 GMT -5
I know I am getting old when I start using the heating pad controls to try and change the TV channel. LOL! Or the remote for the car door locks to unlock the front door of your house... |
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Post by Morris on Feb 11, 2011 11:53:43 GMT -5
LOL! Or the remote for the car door locks to unlock the front door of your house... OH NO!!! I've done that many times and I'm not even in my forties yet! |
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Post by mellontes on Feb 11, 2011 15:55:17 GMT -5
Uh, oh...
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Post by Once4all on Feb 11, 2011 20:27:53 GMT -5
LOL! Or the remote for the car door locks to unlock the front door of your house... OH NO!!! I've done that many times and I'm not even in my forties yet! Don't worry, Sheldon. I don't think it's age so much as it is just habit formed from our remote control society. But it does make me feel really stupid to stand outside my front door pressing the car remote. (You're only in your 30s?! For some reason I was under the impression that you were my age or even older. Maybe I'm thinking of Ted...) |
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Post by Morris on Feb 14, 2011 11:09:44 GMT -5
(You're only in your 30s?! For some reason I was under the impression that you were my age or even older. Maybe I'm thinking of Ted...) I'll take that as a compliment!  |
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