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Post by didymus on Nov 12, 2010 5:35:36 GMT -5
How do you cope with people who seem to hate you? People who go out of their way to say your wrong, and they challenge every little thing that you say, no matter what it is. Is that what we as Christians are here for? I seem to go through that everywhere I go. But, most are just questioning things they don't understand, or never heard before. For example, most have never heard of preterism, and it is normal human behavior to question things we never heard of, or don't understand. While others have a definite mean-spirit. In one site, one person even used profanity. I found out at that supposed "Christian" site, allows profanity. Here's a situation where one member of another site questioned, condemned just about every little thing I said, even to the point of calling me a liar, insinuating that I wasn't a Christian, etc. No profanity here though. I started a thread about "Romans 8.29-30 & Ephesians 1.5-11." A huge discussion of "Predestination" broke out. It was there I got all the personal attacks, from a Calvinist that calls himself "StudySelfimprovement," who we all call "Study." I got to a melting point with Study, and told him to stay off my thread, until he gets back on his medication. In a PM, another member sent me I was told me that Study is going through a rough time right now. I was told that he was planning on getting married, but the marriage didn't happen. The lady walked away. Now Study is really hurting. This is understandable. So, I apologised for my meltdown, and asked other members to pray for him. Study responded by yet another personal attack, and called me a liar. My choice of coping was to delete from that site. So, my question is, should Christians be abusive of one another? And when you encounter an abusive member on whatever site you are on, how do you deal with it? Or how do you cope? I originally posted this at Way of Truth, but since there is absolutely no traffic there, and I have seen others talk about other sites here, I thought this would be a good discussion here as well.Thanks for your time. Didy  |
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Post by kangaroojack on Nov 12, 2010 12:04:34 GMT -5
How do you cope with people who seem to hate you? People who go out of their way to say your wrong, and they challenge every little thing that you say, no matter what it is. Is that what we as Christians are here for? I seem to go through that everywhere I go. But, most are just questioning things they don't understand, or never heard before. For example, most have never heard of preterism, and it is normal human behavior to question things we never heard of, or don't understand. While others have a definite mean-spirit. In one site, one person even used profanity. I found out at that supposed "Christian" site, allows profanity. Here's a situation where one member of another site questioned, condemned just about every little thing I said, even to the point of calling me a liar, insinuating that I wasn't a Christian, etc. No profanity here though. I started a thread about "Romans 8.29-30 & Ephesians 1.5-11." A huge discussion of "Predestination" broke out. It was there I got all the personal attacks, from a Calvinist that calls himself "StudySelfimprovement," who we all call "Study." I got to a melting point with Study, and told him to stay off my thread, until he gets back on his medication. In a PM, another member sent me I was told me that Study is going through a rough time right now. I was told that he was planning on getting married, but the marriage didn't happen. The lady walked away. Now Study is really hurting. This is understandable. So, I apologised for my meltdown, and asked other members to pray for him. Study responded by yet another personal attack, and called me a liar. My choice of coping was to delete from that site. So, my question is, should Christians be abusive of one another? And when you encounter an abusive member on whatever site you are on, how do you deal with it? Or how do you cope? I originally posted this at Way of Truth, but since there is absolutely no traffic there, and I have seen others talk about other sites here, I thought this would be a good discussion here as well.Thanks for your time. Didy didy, I am embarassed because of my Reformed brothers for the way they act. It seems to be the ones that post on boards that are mean spirited. There is absolutely no one at the Reformed church I attend who is like that. The best way to deal with them is to ignore them if you can. I could not ignore PT so I had to leave CARM for the sake of my own peace. Roo |
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Post by Morris on Nov 12, 2010 12:19:46 GMT -5
didy, I am embarassed because of my Reformed brothers for the way they act. It seems to be the ones that post on boards that are mean spirited. There is absolutely no one at the Reformed church I attend who is like that. The best way to deal with them is to ignore them if you can. I could not ignore PT so I had to leave CARM for the sake of my own peace. Roo Roo speaks quite a bit of truth here. Christian forums in general are composed mainly of people who desire to argue and be seen as 'better'. It is unfortunate but true. However, I find that face to face meetings are rarely as mean spirited. I think anonymity breeds callousness, even in some Christians. That said, that's why I really like this forum; it is open and Christ-spirited. |
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Post by kangaroojack on Nov 12, 2010 12:34:00 GMT -5
Morris said:
How true!
Roo
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Post by Once4all on Nov 12, 2010 18:33:08 GMT -5
I agree with Roo and Morris. When I was a regular at CARM, there were a few who post regularly to the Trinity forum who can't seem to be civil no matter how nice you try to be with them. Ultimately, I chose to ignore them.
At first, when their remarks got particularly rude (to put it mildly), I would tell them that I did not want to continue the discussion with that attitude. But that always just invited more vomit from them.
So then I would simply cease the discussion when it got to that point, without saying I was not going to post anymore. That essentially gave the person the last word in the discussion, but who cares? I wasn't in it to "win." The person probably came away from it thinking he was victorious (because I had no comeback), but any sensible person (and hopefully most Christians) reading the exchange should be able to discern from what spirit each was speaking from.
Finally, I simply used the "Ignore User" feature to hide that person's posts from my eyes so that I would not be tempted to engage him again. You can override the "Ignore" for each individual post, and sometimes I would do that just to see what the person had to say. But the "manual override" served to remind me that this was not a person I wanted to respond to, no matter what.
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Post by MoGrace2U on Nov 12, 2010 21:32:13 GMT -5
It does make me wonder if Christians who post under the cover of anonymity and so feel free to behave rudely, think that God doesn't see their behavior either. They justify their behavior because they count us heretics - but what do they think that makes them? Rebellious perhaps?
1 Sam 15:23 - For rebellion is as the sin of witchcraft, and stubbornness is as iniquity and idolatry. Because thou hast rejected the word of the LORD, he hath also rejected thee from being king.
Sounds like the mark of idolatry. Being a heretic - in their eyes - cannot be worse than what God sees from them!
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Post by kangaroojack on Nov 13, 2010 15:08:55 GMT -5
Bev said:
I did not know about the "Ignore User" option. I tried to ignore PT's posts but my curiosity got the best of me and I was not able to resist the temptation to reply. So I had to leave for my own peace and I am sure they were beating their chests about it. I am not willing to lose sleep over such people.
Roo
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Post by Once4all on Nov 13, 2010 18:33:13 GMT -5
Bev said: I did not know about the "Ignore User" option. I tried to ignore PT's posts but my curiosity got the best of me and I was not able to resist the temptation to reply. So I had to leave for my own peace and I am sure they were beating their chests about it. I am not willing to lose sleep over such people. Roo Oh, I ultimately left CARM, too. It is not a spiritually uplifting place to hang out. |
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Post by kangaroojack on Nov 13, 2010 21:09:24 GMT -5
Bev said:
An understatement for sure.
Roo
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Post by Morris on Nov 15, 2010 14:11:00 GMT -5
Oh, I ultimately left CARM, too. It is not a spiritually uplifting place to hang out. I gave it a second chance and had some engaging discussions with a few good people there but there are also plenty of posters that turn me off. That's why I go there in spurts. Currently it's been a couple of weeks since I last visited. To me, CARM stands for Childish And Rude Manners. |
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Post by kangaroojack on Nov 16, 2010 15:13:11 GMT -5
Morris:
Good one!
Roo
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