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Post by didymus on Oct 31, 2010 5:57:17 GMT -5
- as there is no humor forum here, I posted this hereI'm not married, and I am really good. I come already trained. I won't even kiss a girl without permission, even if she is under the mistletoe. I won't open a car door unless she tells me to. Don't want to hear, "I'm not an invalid." If I do get married, and I come home and see my wife crying, I know better than to ask, "Honey, how was your day?" I also know better than to take out the garbage until I'm told to. I also know that, if she has a cat, the cat is the boss. And, perhaps the most important; always keep the toilet seat down, and the lid up. Hopefully the cat will drown itself. >just kidding<. Never complain about not having enough covers when she pulls them all to her side of the bed. And if she has children, treat them like your own means: buy them candy, get them presents, but never discipline them like they are my own. As you can see, I am well trained. 
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Post by Once4all on Oct 31, 2010 20:48:28 GMT -5
That was pretty funny. It's definitely a plus to not have to train you to put the toilet seat down! LOL. We also keep the lid down, and it was George who trained me about that one. I don't remember the reason now. Apparently, not all women have a problem with the man leaving the toilet seat up. I don't like it. I have a young friend who used to leave the seat up when he was visiting us and I told him that he should get in the habit of putting it down because his future wife (which he had yet to meet) would appreciate it. A few years later when he did meet someone and get married, his wife told me that the toilet seat thing doesn't bother her.
I'm not sure I like the one about not opening a car door unless asked or told to. I never expect it and seldom get it, but I'd never complain if a man always wanted to open the car door for me. I think that would be a great quality. Unfortunately, those nice gestures fade away after a few years of marriage. At the opposite extreme, I know a woman who had a fit because her husband forgot to pull the chair out for her at a restaurant. She stood there with her arms crossed until he got back up out of his chair and pulled her chair out for her. I felt sorry for that man. I think both extremes are indicative of some underlying problems of pride, ego, or insecurity in the woman.
(Sorry, this was supposed to be a funny thread and I've turned it into some kind of psychological evaluation!)
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Post by didymus on Oct 31, 2010 22:37:10 GMT -5
Some psychological evaluations are funny too. I never will forget one of mine. The psychiatrist's hands were shaking rather violently. I asked if he was nervous. He responded by telling me that the number one career for suicides was psychiatrist. Comforting to know when you are going through a psychiatric evaluation. |
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Post by Once4all on Oct 31, 2010 23:26:10 GMT -5
Some psychological evaluations are funny too. I never will forget one of mine. The psychiatrist's hands were shaking rather violently. I asked if he was nervous. He responded by telling me that the number one career for suicides was psychiatrist. Comforting to know when you are going through a psychiatric evaluation. That's not too far off. According to an August 2009 article in Psychology Today, physicians have the highest suicide rate. Source: www.psychologytoday.com/blog/the-narcissus-in-all-us/200908/the-occupation-the-highest-suicide-rateAccording to The Atlanta Family News Blog, September 23, 2010, the occupation with the highest divorce rate is "dancers (and choreographers)." Lowest divorce rate? "... agricultural, sales and nuclear engineers were among the 10 occupations with the lowest rates." Source: atlantafamilylawnews.com/2010/09/study-divorce-rates-by-occupation.html |
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Post by didymus on Nov 9, 2010 22:39:56 GMT -5
By the way, I forgot to say, if you know any single ladies, you can tell them you know a guy who is well trained.  |
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